How Your Kids Picture You

A mom from last year shared this about her 3 year old daughter:

M: Mommy will you draw a picture with me, and C and you and Daddy? And will you draw you and Daddy with guns? And Daddy is drinking beer. And so are you. And so is C. I think he likes it. And Daddy is holding a baby.

By the time the picture was done, there were 8 babies total. Some were in a shopping cart.

My Dad Shops Here!

A friend's kindergarten class went on a field trip to the grocery store to see their "community helpers". While walking in, they saw the beer and wine aisle, where one student shared their thoughts:

Student: Hey! This is the part where my dad shops!

Funny story, his mom's "spot" at the grocery store was the pharmacy. My kind of family.

Sink and Float

We've been doing an intensive unit on sink and float in science recently, and today we had a discussion about why things float. We came up with that a lot of things that float have more air in them. So they went back to their seats to write/draw about this. Here is the discussion I had with one of my students.

Ms. W: So what's going on in your picture here A?

A: Well this guy has a life jacket on so he is floating. This guy doesn't so he is sinking.


I guess he didn't know how to swim...

Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail

A mom from last year shared this conversation that she had with her son with me:

Mom: What do you think the Easter Bunny is going to bring you this year?

C: A Nintendo DS

Mom: I don't think the Easter Bunny brings expensive gifts like that.

C: Yes he does. He just steals them all anyway.

What's Black and White...

The same mom from the previous story, shared this question from her 3 year old:

M: Do penguins fart fish?

Who Do You Love More?

A parent shared this with me the other day, I had her son last year.

C: Mom, who do you love more? M, Dad, or me?

Mom: I don't love anyone more than the other.

C: I think it's me because I'm really smart.

It Wasn't Me

If I could have a dollar for every time I heard "It wasn't me", I would have more money than Shaggy right now.

Here are two of my favorite "It wasn't me" stories:

K: Ms. W, B said f*ck

Ms. W: Umm, B-come here please.

B: (shouting towards me at the door) BUT I DIDN'T SAY F*CK, I SAID FOX

-please note he has a really strong spanish accent, so when he says fox, it actually does sound like f*ck

Ms. W: B PLEASE COME MEET ME OUTSIDE

B: (still shouting) BUT I DIDN'T SAY F*CK


Another day:

J: R said what the hell

Ms. W: R can you please come here so I can talk to you

R: (shouting) What the heck!? I didn't say what the hell!


My class loves to shout at appropriate times.

Are We Done Yet?

I was reading a book about someone who was very boring, so I was reading it pretty slow to give it an effect. Apparently one of my students was not pleased:

J: Ms. W, the book done?
Ms. W: No, there is still some pages left.
J: You read faster.

Too Big To Fit In Here

During Language Arts groups one of my students apparently had a slight issue. I should reword that, too big of an issue:

B: Mrs. B, my peewee is SOOOOO big!

Parental Influence

I interview my students on the Social Studies and Science topics that we learn about, so I can see what they picked up. While asking one of my students what the President does, he responded with this:

A: He takes everyone's money and then passes it back out to everyone.

This was obviously a home conversation.

Match.com

In Social Studies we are learning about globes and maps. Today we made a map of the playground and I told them that it was important to create a title and write the date for it. While writing the title one of my students wanted to compliment me:

R: Ms. W you are a good dater

Yes, I would like to think my dating skills are superb.

What's a Smart Alec?

I overheard this one in the hallway yesterday:

Teacher: Okay guys, you better stop talking so that we can get back to the class. You don't want to miss your bus.

Student: But I don't ride a bus.

Teacher: Did you really just say that?

Student: But I don't ride a bus.

Teacher: You shouldn't talk back to a teacher like that.

Student: But I really don't ride a bus.

Someone Call D.A.R.E.

My friend's fourth grade student had this comment to say after lunch:

A: Ms. F, my coke my mom brought me at lunch turned me on!"

no comment.