Mike Tyson's Daughter

We are learning about making graphs using data, so I posed the question: Do you have a cat? When the students were choosing their answer on the board-if they had a cat I asked what the cats name was. One of the girls hesitated, so I asked if she really had a cat.

B: Maybe she's thinking of a dog, yeah C has a dog.

K: C, what's your cats name or do you have a dog?

C: I think she has a dog.

A: Maybe she has a tiger!

Good thing we don't have bring your pet to school day.

Completely Necessary

One of my kids made a weird, loud noise while walking to the carpet:

Ms. W: A, was that necessary?

A: No, it was me.

I wasn't aware we had someone named necessary in our class.

Everyone Farts

I was sitting by the lego station during Discovery Time and couldn't resist chirping in to this conversation:

L: Ew B, you farted-that's gross

B: Sorry!

Ms. W: You know L, everyone farts. It's nothing that's that bad.

B: Yeah L, you fart too!

L: Yeah, but not at school!

Life Long Dream

When the class was settling down after lunch for a story, I had one student ask me a question:

S: Ms. W, what would be your life long dream?

Ms. W: (in my head: to be a teacher, duh!) Mmmm....

S: Mine would be to be in a beauty pageant.

Ms. W: Wow, that'd be really fun. Mine would probably be to take pictures of animals in Africa.

C: I know how you can donate to save the animals in Africa, go to Animal Kingdom!


Marketing at it's best.

Long Trips

I was leaving the lunch line when a first grader stopped me to share about her weekend:

T: Ms. W, I went to Ocean City over the weekend.

Ms. W: Oh that sounds like fun! Next time you will have to take me!

T: (said very matter of factly) Yeah, but you would have to sit in the back and drink wine the whole time because it is a very loonnng ride.

Okay, if you say so!

Sexy Time

We were in the library looking at the books we were about to check out. Some of my students were looking through the homemade books when they saw a lady in a bathing suit (note: there was nothing revealing about the suit at all, it was just the top part that looked like a thick strap tank top-I think it was just the fact that it was a lady in a bathing suit). My two boys shared this thought together:

C: She is sexy hot.
B: Yeah, super, super sexy hot.

Tell Me About Your First Kiss

New Found Glory may have pegged these two with their lyrics:

"Tell me about your first kiss

Tell me or have you already forgotten it?"

This video was just too cute not to share, but I'm glad this didn't happen in my classroom.

First Kiss

Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This

We were making a Mother's Day book in my class and one of the pages asked them to write and draw something that their mother doesn't like them to do (to go right after the page that says what they do like). Looking back-I was just asking for some horrible responses, but this is my favorite. He tried so hard and actually gave a legitimate response...just not one that his mother would probably like in a book.

It reads as follows:

"My mom does not like it when I sa bd wors (say bad words)"

Boy: "I Fuc"

Mom: "Dot toc to me like that"

That's What She Said

I think I have a case of the "That's What She Said"'s in my classroom. Except it literally is what she said. We walked into the library to see a sub and one of my girls made a comment to a boy. He decided to raise his hand to tell me, so I called on him before everything started.

B: "Ms. W, V said that she was fat." [referring to the sub]

Ms. W: "B and V, let's go over here and talk."

B: "But that's what she said! She said the lady was fat!"

Picture me banging my head against the bookcase about now.

My Expertise

"I am an expert on:

All flips

Handstands

Raping"

Oh how nice...looks like we can catch them early now.

Happy Mother's Day!

"My mom likes to stay home sometimes with my brother offten. And she loves to go to welfare."

Who doesn't LOVE to go to welfare? I'd go there everyday if I could.

I'd Love to See Their Thoughts on Bin Laden

If you have horrible eyesight like me, it says:

Which U.S. symbol is most important to you? Why is it so special to the United States?

None. I respect the symbol however saluting or worshipping the symbols would takeing away what belongs to God.

In the words of my friend who posted this: Jehova's Witness...enough said.